Silent Shout

There is a famous painting by Edvard Munch called The Scream. It is a clear portrayal of absolute agony. Much of the world can identify with the picture in some way.  There is so much pain in humanity that we can all look at that picture and get the point that life can be overwhelming.  But the picture also says something else. It suggests a hopelessness that cannot be expressed in words. A silent scream of desperation.

Have you ever felt like your circumstances seemed hopeless?

There is speculation as to the intent of Munch’s painting. Is the scream coming from the person portrayed or is he holding his ears to shut out the noise around him?  Either way, God, has an answer to this desperation.

In Psalm 18:3 it says “I call upon the Lord who is worthy of praise and I am saved from my enemies.” Our enemies aren’t always flesh and blood, sometimes they are things unseen. The key is calling on the Lord.

In Psalm 124:8 it says “Our help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” There is power in the name.

Sometimes life brings us to the place where we are desperate for God to act. We need Him and we need Him fast.  I’ve had several of those times in my life…when my mother was diagnosed with cancer…when I was paged in a toy store and upon arrival at the service desk then told to call the local hospital emergency room to find out that my five year old son had broken his leg…or when I was told that two of my young sons would be hospitalized with encephalitis at the same time.

Those were all times when I used the theme of Munch’s painting in a very different form. There was a silent scream coming from my spirit as I walked the long aisle of that toy store but it wasn’t a scream of agony, although I was certainly feeling that at the moment. No… the scream I experienced was just as desperate but consisted of a single word…JESUS!  I was shouting that name with everything in me but no one in that toy store heard it. Only the Father in Heaven heard my cry.

Now, it’s a cry that I send to Heaven often. I learned that I don’t need to be in a desperate situation to cry out to Jesus from the depths of my soul. I can do it when I feel like things are beginning to get shaky or I can do it anytime I feel like I just want more of Him. I can silently shout the Name of Jesus anytime at all and hear it echo through the heavens.

He hears my cry and He hears yours as well.

God Calls Us to Listen

This season of my life seems to be about listening.  I know God is trying to speak to me but sometimes it’s like watching television with the mute button pushed. I can almost see His mouth moving but there is no sound.  I wish I could read lips.

I can remember lines from old movies where one character is trying to make a strong point to another character and emphasizes his point with the phrase, “read my lips.” There have been times where I’ve been tempted to use this line with my children when they are reluctant to accept my answer to a request and they keep trying to get me to change my mind.  It’s probably not the best parenting tool but it might be effective.

So why is it that, in this season and at perhaps a time when I am trying harder to listen than ever before to hear God’s direction, that I seem to be deaf? Is there a barrier between us? Something I’ve put there because, like my children, I’ve heard His response to me and I’m waiting for a different one?  One I like better?

Or is it that I’m really trying to listen and there are no barriers between us…just so much noise in my life that I can’t hear the still small voice of my Father.  Either way, the issue is not that God isn’t speaking. The issue is within me.  There are hundreds of verses of Scripture that tell us to listen. But listening requires something of us. It requires that we be quiet, that we be still before the Lord.

My excuses as to why I can’t seem to be quiet before the Lord are actually pretty lame.  It’s really very simple. It’s about considering to what degree I’m willing to sacrifice in order to hear God. I must put aside my own selfish desires and just stop. Stop and wait. Stop and listen. Be still.

To what degree am I willing to alter my plans, my thoughts, and my busyness in order to hear God? Is there ANYTHING worth more than hearing the voice of my Lord? How much to I really desire to know God?

Jeremiah 33:3 says, “Call to Me and I will answer you and I will tell you great and might things, which you do not know.”

It’s important that we call out to God, but if we expect to hear great and mighty things, we have to listen.

Melody and Harmony

I read a blog recently by a Christian musician. He was talking about the challenges of serving God in a music-based ministry. He said that sometimes he felt like he was always playing harmony and never melody. This made me think about how life goes sometimes. We think we’ve heard God’s call and we’re trying to be obedient but sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we can’t seem to see how what we’re doing is making a difference. It’s like we are playing the harmony and can’t identify the song.

When I was in middle school the band director tried to teach me to play the bassoon. Aside from the fact that it was a huge instrument for a thirteen year old to lug home for five blocks every weekend, it also required great effort to play. And it wasn’t exactly a solo instrument. Most of the music was the harmony and rather boring to practice. I only played the bassoon for one year. I just didn’t get much satisfaction from the experience.

But as I read the musician’s blog I saw things from a different perspective. When a composer writes a piece of music each part is important. While the melody is meant to stand out, it isn’t meant to stand alone. The richness of a piece of music is in the way each part is combined together. It reminds me of the verses in 1 Corinthians 12 about the body and how each part needs the other.

But back to the music for a moment. In life we can’t all play solos. We aren’t all created to play the melody. But our parts are just as important. A pastor, for instance, may play a solo on Sunday but even he doesn’t always get to play the melody. The beauty is in the way the melody and the harmony flow together. It’s the countless hours that faithful Christ-followers put in just doing their part…just playing the harmony to the best of their ability… that’s what makes the difference.

We may not even be aware, on a conscious level, of the harmony that is being played but if it our part is missing we’d know it. If the musicians suddenly just quit because they were tired of playing the same boring tune the entire piece would suffer.

When we grow weary of playing the same notes, when we can’t even recognize the tune, that’s when we must determine to remain faithful. Our part is important; our harmony is what makes the melody rich. Maybe we are just asked to play the bassoon to the best of our ability. We can be sure that the song the Lord hears is pleasing to Him even if we can’t recognize the tune from where we sit.

Psalm 33:3 “Sing to Him a new song; play skillfully with a shout of joy”

What do you want?

Jesus asked His followers, “What do you want?” (Matthew 20:32)

What do I want? Desires…deepest desires…what are mine? What is it that I truly desire in the deepest places in my heart?  For a long time I’ve felt this vague sort of longing. I used to think it was just that I was dissatisfied with life. Maybe ungrateful for what God has done for me. It made me feel sort of guilty, like I should learn to be more content and satisfied with the life God has given me.  Instead I’m always longing for something more, asking the question, “is this all there is?” Wondering why I can never just be thankful for life as it is. After all, it could be so much worse…right?

In the past few months, God has been hinting at a completely different mindset.  Perhaps this longing I have is not selfish or from the perspective of a spoiled child that is never satisfied. Maybe this is a holy yearning for something that can never be satisfied in this life. It’s a longing, a deep desire for the restoration that Jesus promised when He returns for us.

I’ve been feeling like I need to grow up and stop “wanting.” To spend my time serving and living the best I can, as if this life is all there is. But I’ve been wrong. I need to have a measure of contentment as Paul mentions (Phillipians 4:11). But honestly…this life matters little in comparison to eternity. I will never feel fulfilled here – I don’t belong here. We haven’t belonged here since Eve made that one decision that ripped us from paradise to wander in the wilderness for generation after generation.  Everybody has this same longing, I believe.  We all search for different ways to find some relief, to feel satisfied…some good, some not so good.  The truth is, there is no long term relief…not until He comes for us.

The revelation for me is this: This longing isn’t evil. It isn’t something to feel bad about. Better to stop trying to meet this this need or numb it. Better to recognize it for what it is and embrace it…waiting for the day of the promise!

One day Jesus will fill every void I feel. One day I will finally feel complete and fulfilled when I am restored to the person God created me to be from the beginning. Until then, my comfort comes as I reach for Him and draw as close as I can.  I will choose to sit in His presence and wait…I won’t be disappointed!

Holy Tension

I had a conversation recently with a friend where we were discussing what I call a Holy Tension.

Sometimes when I am praying for direction I ask the Lord for peace concerning a decision I need to
make. When I sense that peace I feel confident to move forward. But recently, I was praying about
moving into an area of ministry that is a new direction for me. As I prayed I asked for peace but I felt a
little unsettled instead. Not unsettled about the decision so much as about whether I am equipped to
handle it. Can I stay humble? Can I keep the fruits of the Spirit as my standard and not become prideful
or arrogant? Do I have enough wisdom and knowledge to meet the responsibility I would be accepting?

This is where the Holy Tension surfaces. Yes, I need to know God’s peace concerning my decisions
but there will always be a health caution when it comes to carrying out His direction. I will never be
completely settled because if I am then I’ve ceased to trust God minute by minute. I will always need to
feel dependent on God, recognizing my own shortcomings and relying on His power to accomplish what
He’s called me to do.

“But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted
by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are
always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
Jeremiah 17:7-8

I never want to become so confident in myself that I quit leaning on the Lord. The peace in my spirit is
the peace that comes from trusting in God’s perfect abilities and the tension comes from acknowledging
that on my own, I am nothing.

The Treasures

I call my grandchildren “The Treasures.” When I talked to my daughter-in-law I used to refer to them as “the girls” but then she had a boy…and then another boy. I had to come up with a different way to refer to all of them. I wasn’t particularly fond of just referring to them as “the children”…too formal. And saying “the kids” was…well…too generic.

Finally one day as I read the scriptures I came across Matthew 6:21. “For where your treasure is there your heart will be also.” Now, I know this is referring to treasuring God’s word and looking to eternity but anyone who has had grandchildren will understand that they have a profound effect on your heart! The word Treasure seemed to be a perfect fit for grandchildren. So now, when I talk to my daughter-in-law I’ll frequently say “give the Treasures a hug from Grandma” or “tell the Treasures that Grandma loves them.”

But let’s go back to the passage in Matthew for a moment. In the previous verse (verse 20) it says for us to store our treasures in Heaven where moth and rust cannot destroy them. It has occurred to me that God stores up treasures for Himself in Heaven too. You are one of God’s treasures. The treasures He stores in Heaven are us! He loved us enough to sacrifice His only Son that He might have us in Heaven with Him for eternity where sorrow and pain, disease and despair, cannot destroy us. We are His treasures, so valuable that Jesus was willing to give His life for us.

During this Holy Week think about the fact that you are the Father’s treasure and consider the price He was willing to pay to have you with Him for all eternity. Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift!

Light of the World

Light is an interesting phenomenon. As you consider the properties of light, it’s easy to see why the Lord used light to help explain His character. Think of all the scriptures where the Lord calls himself the light or uses light to define his nature. Some of the ones I love are:

1 John 1:5
This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.

1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen race, A royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light

John 8:12
Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, ” I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the light of life.

Picture yourself in a long, brightly lit hallway with many closed doors on both sides. Imagine that on the other side of all those doors are rooms in complete darkness.  Now consider what would happen if you went down that hallway and opened each door, flooding the rooms with light. Each room would no longer be in total darkness but would be influenced by the light from the hallway. However, the light in the hall would not be diminished at all. No matter how many doors you opened there would be no reduction of light in the hallway. The darkness cannot effect the light but the light definitely impacts the darkness.

When we allow the Lord to be light in our lives, we give him permission to reveal what the darkness would try to hide. We are promised that darkness will always be overcome with light and when we are willing to swing wide the doors of our hearts the Lord will surely keep his promise to shine His glorious light causing darkness to flee.

The Master Craftsman

My husband is a woodworker. He builds everything from chicken coops to porch swings to fine dining room tables. He is a craftsman who settles for nothing short of excellence.  He also restores furniture. I’ve seen him take a broken down piece of furniture that someone brings him and patiently restore it to its former glory. Sometimes the transformation is amazing.

He takes a piece into his workshop and begins by assessing the damage. He doesn’t care where the piece has been or what abuse it may have experienced. He focuses on returning it to useable condition and the purpose for which it was created.

He removes the old finish, sands and glues and sands some more. Then he carefully applies the new finish and watches as the richness of the wood is revealed. He patiently waits for each coat of finish to dry before applying the next.

Our Heavenly Father is also a master craftsman in the business of restoration. He can take a life and strip away the old, stained finish. He can gently sand away the rough spots and mend the broken pieces.  He can apply a brand new finish, rubbing the oils of healing into our hearts, causing the richness of His presence to shine in our soul as it was intended from the beginning when He created us and then declared His creation very good.

God doesn’t care where we’ve been or what we’ve experienced. Nothing can disqualify us from being beautifully restored if only we will put ourselves into the hands of the Master Craftsman.

2 Corinthians 3:18 “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.”

2 Corinthians 4:16 “Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.”

Monkey Bars

The Lord has been known to use some unusual word pictures to speak to me. One that has stayed with me for several years involves monkey bars. You know the kind – a horizontal, metal, ladder-like structure.

Most of us have experienced swinging on monkey bars. By grasping and letting go of the rungs you swing from one end to the other. If you fail to let go with one hand you can become stuck in the middle with no momentum to continue moving. What keeps you moving forward is letting go. Letting go is what the Lord has been teaching me.

In 2005 my husband and I believed the Lord directed us to move to Iowa. We’d both lived for more than 40 years in the same county in central Ohio. All of our friends and family were in Ohio. When moving day came, by a total act of faith, we watched the moving van leave our driveway and head for Iowa. We had no address on the other end. The driver would take three days to make the trip and we trusted that we would have an address by the time the truck arrived in Des Moines.

Our family left the next morning to make the eleven hour drive. We believed God had shown us the home He had for us but the details were not coming together. My husband was on the phone most of the day with the owner, realtors, and attorneys as we drove across Indiana and Illinois. Just as we were crossing the Mississippi River into Iowa the deal began to come together. We would have an address to direct the moving van and more important, we would have a place to sleep that night. We arrived late in the evening and the eight of us slept together on the floor in the living room of what was to become our new home.

Now, what does all of this have to do with monkey bars? What the Lord has shown me through this adventure is that life keeps moving and you must be willing to let go in order to move on. We all have different things that require letting go but what I learned was that most things fall into four categories.

Relationships – We need to be willing to let go of our relationships as we know them. Not cutting ties with the people we love, but allowing God to mold our relationships into something different.  When we left Ohio we left a son and daughter-in-law who’d just announced that our first grandchild was on the way. We had to let go of what could have been and let God do what He knew was best.

Expectations – This is a real challenge for me. I always seem to set myself up and then I get disappointed. The Father’s plan is always the best one.

Successes – Sometimes we get stuck in an area because we’ve had success there and are comfortable. I know I had church and 4-H, among other things, that I didn’t want to let go. But God promises to do something new if we will let Him.

Failures – Sometimes we get trapped by our failures or what we perceive as failures. For example, I don’t feel like I make friends easily. I struggle with a fear of rejection and sometimes feel like I am on the “outside” of things. This is an area where I believe God asked me to let go and allow Him to give me a fresh start. He has been faithful and I have experienced blessings in this area beyond anything I could have imagined.

So, how am I allowing God to continue to use this word picture in my life?  I am hanging on the rungs with both hands while learning to let go and move on. God is good. He won’t let me fall. He’ll give me the strength to hang on…and keep going.

Philippians 3:13-14: “Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead,  I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

What are you becoming?

A while back I wrote in my journal this phrase that I believe the Lord spoke to my heart.

“Stop being what you were and look forward…to what you are becoming.”

Our faith walk in a process. When we come to Christ we are a new creation (according to 2 Corinthians 5:17).

But 2 Corinthians 3:18 tells us that we are being transformed into Christ’s image. I believe that Romans 2:12 ties this all together: “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

The good and perfect will of God is that we become like Jesus.  If we keep seeing ourselves as we were before our rebirth then we can get discouraged. The renewing of our mind involves shifting our focus from what we were to what we are becoming.

I started a list in my journal that I simply titled “My Becomings.”  I’ve added to this list as the Lord has brought concepts to mind. I look at this list often and my prayer is this:

“Thank You Lord that, by Your strength, I am becoming wise, kind, patient, loving, hopeful, courageous, teachable, discerning, steadfast, thankful, prayerful, joyful, disciplined…” The list goes on.  I’m sure my list will continue to grow as God reveals the character of Jesus to me day by day.

So, what are you becoming?  Maybe it’s time to start your list.