Sometimes I have to learn my lessons the hard way. This past week was one of those times.
I have struggled with change all of my life. I remember trying to make myself rearrange the furniture in my bedroom when I was in high school and having a hard time.
I have friends who embrace change. Who love the idea of trying something new. I am not like them. I love the familiar. I can watch old Cary Grant or Jimmy Stewart movies over and over. I’ve read some of my favorite books a dozen times. Give me the stability of the familiar and I do just fine.
It seems rather funny to me to even be talking about this since the past few months have been nothing but a series of changes. My life has been FULL of change and yet I still try so hard to cling to the familiar.
Through all the changes we have experienced over the past four months, I have felt tossed by the waves on many occasions. But God gave me the gift of a good husband to share my journey and he’s been my anchor as the waves have crashed around me. No matter what we were facing, I could count on him staying the same. Being one who brought stability.
This past week, however, the anchor’s chains were severed. Or so I thought.
Change. God brings it on purpose to keep us from getting too comfortable. He can use the most simple thing to get us back on course. This week it was ridiculously simple.
I’d gone to church on Wednesday evening and it had been a great class. I came home from class, walked in the front door and found that my husband had completely changed his appearance. While I was gone, Andrew had shaved Randy’s head. He looked like a stranger. I went to my room and closed the door. When I was faced with yet another change, I just shut down. I didn’t want to adjust anymore.
Now I know… you’re laughing right now. It’s just a haircut! What’s the big deal? But it was change. And it was change in the one thing, the one person who had remained the same through all the adjustments of the past few months. Now he had changed and it was completely unsettling. I spent three days trying to have a normal relationship with him without looking at him. You can guess how that went.
By Saturday morning I was feeling the stress on our relationship and I’m sure he was too. Finally I felt God nudging me to find my husband and resolve this issue. I can report that all is well now.
The lesson I learned was difficult but so important. I had gradually allowed myself to put my trust in Randy to be my anchor. To be the one who brought stability and strength when I needed it. While it is true that a strong marriage is important and God will use our mates to encourage us and help us grow, they are not meant to take on as much responsibility as we sometimes give them.
Randy isn’t meant to be my anchor. God is.
Randy isn’t unchangeable. God is.
God used a simple thing like a change in appearance to help me see that He is the only thing I can count on to never change. He is to be my anchor. My Rock. He is the one I can run to when life gets hard. And He is the only one who can give me peace that passes understanding.
Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.