I’m definitely feeling stuck. The packing at the beginning was pretty easy. Sorting and putting things into boxes. I think I was doing it in my sleep for a while too. It’s too bad all those boxes I packed in my head weren’t really packed in my house. I think I’d be done by now. At this point the progress has slowed considerably. It’s becoming harder to figure out what to pack and how to pack it. What should I park for storage? What will I need at Andrew’s? What will I still need to be using for the next 5 weeks?
This morning I was awake at 4:30. I seem to be doing this more and more. My brain begins working so early that it’s useless to try to go back to sleep. So I got up and spent some time reading my devotional books and praying for the day. Some days I think that is the only really peaceful time I have. The rest of the day is caught up in all the zillions of details that are starting to press in. My motto has become that quote from the Disney movie called Meet the Robinsons, “Keep moving forward.”
I met with a friend yesterday who is also in the midst of preparing for a long-distance move. I think our conversation encouraged both of us and reminded us that we aren’t alone in our feelings. It made me realize that I’m not crazy in how I’m handling all the details. She is having the same struggles.
One of the challenges from this week has been all the appointments and decisions to make about stuff like insurance and banking and transferring doctor’s records. Things that have a great impact but are tedious to attend to. There are so many things we take for granted and suddenly I am having to make decisions about changing so many of those things.
And if my house isn’t already a disaster area, we have the entryway floor torn up in preparation to be replaced. We had it on the list of things to do before winter. Home projects in this house have never been easy. I think the builders or the previous owners had this hidden agenda to make the future owners lose their minds… slowly…one project at a time. This particular project started with the simple removal of a layer of vinyl flooring that had cracked and begun to shred from the door catching it. That task was followed by the need to remove a thin sheet of plywood which was covering yet another layer of vinyl which was glued to the subfloor with something…permanent, requiring it to be removed with a chisel. At this stage, I have a partially removed floor with random staples sticking out here and there. And we are scratching our heads. Three layers? Who does that? No wonder the front door was catching on the flooring.
The good news is that my old self, before the transformation that has been happening over the last 10 years, would have been unable to function with so many things going on. But I rejoice every day now, that I am able to feel a deep sense of peace knowing everything will work out as it needs to. I’ve learned so much about patience and perseverance , from much practice, that I don’t get nearly as ruffled as I used to. The glory goes to God. He has taken me one step at a time from a fretting worrier to someone who knows He has it all in His hands.
Romans 11:33-36 Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways! “For who has know the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor? Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to him again? ” For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.