Holy Tension

I had a conversation recently with a friend where we were discussing what I call a Holy Tension.

Sometimes when I am praying for direction I ask the Lord for peace concerning a decision I need to
make. When I sense that peace I feel confident to move forward. But recently, I was praying about
moving into an area of ministry that is a new direction for me. As I prayed I asked for peace but I felt a
little unsettled instead. Not unsettled about the decision so much as about whether I am equipped to
handle it. Can I stay humble? Can I keep the fruits of the Spirit as my standard and not become prideful
or arrogant? Do I have enough wisdom and knowledge to meet the responsibility I would be accepting?

This is where the Holy Tension surfaces. Yes, I need to know God’s peace concerning my decisions
but there will always be a health caution when it comes to carrying out His direction. I will never be
completely settled because if I am then I’ve ceased to trust God minute by minute. I will always need to
feel dependent on God, recognizing my own shortcomings and relying on His power to accomplish what
He’s called me to do.

“But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted
by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are
always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
Jeremiah 17:7-8

I never want to become so confident in myself that I quit leaning on the Lord. The peace in my spirit is
the peace that comes from trusting in God’s perfect abilities and the tension comes from acknowledging
that on my own, I am nothing.